Have you ever spent countless hours in front of your computer forgetting to eat, drink, stretch, or go to the bathroom? Or zoned out during a stressful conversation? Or opened TikTok to scroll for a minute — and been shocked when an hour had passed?
These are all mild forms of dissociation, explains trauma therapist Jane McCampbell, MA, LMFT, CPCC, RMFT. Loosely defined, dissociation means leaving your body behind while your mind goes elsewhere. “All of us dissociate to a certain extent,” she says.
In its mildest form, dissociation (sometimes called disembodiment) can help us manage and minimize stress, including the stress of boredom. But during extreme, traumatic events — such as accidents, injury, and sudden loss — we can experience more significant detachment. And later on, we may have trouble reconnecting with our bodies and emotions even when we really want to.
Complicating matters, we live in a culture that tends to prioritize the intelligence of the head over that of the body. Many of us spend our days hunched over screens, commuting in cars, glued to our phones — barely noticing our bodies at all. “Our culture takes that to be the normal state,” says renowned embodiment practitioner Philip Shepherd.
Psychologist and relationship expert Michaela Boehm, author of The Wild Woman’s Way: Reconnect to Your Body’s Wisdom, describes the journey of embodiment as “the process of becoming alive to the signals of our bodies.”
“Thriving means we are connected with all the faculties of our body,” she says, “including pleasure, including aliveness, vitality, extra energy.
“Our regulated systems benefit as well, such as our heartbeat and blood pressure. We move away from being reactive to being responsive.”
The benefits of being more in sync with our bodies’ needs are legion. Yet for many of us, this remains a challenge.
Whether we disconnect because of day-to-day stressors or more deep-seated issues, like posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), the result is often the same: We’re missing out on the full range of sensation, emotion, and experience that’s available to us as humans.
Yet no matter how distant from ourselves we might become, embodiment experts believe it is possible to find our way back to our bodies, one small step at a time.
Why We Leave
There are many reasons we disconnect from our corporeal selves. For starters, relentless ads, social media posts, and narratives about “ideal” bodies can leave us feeling that our own bodies don’t measure up.
“The cultural mirrors all around us are constantly telling us, in both obvious and covert ways, that there is a right way to have a body — and it is something other than yours,” writes psychologist, researcher, and embodiment expert Hillary L. McBride, PhD, in The Wisdom of Your Body: Finding Healing, Wholeness, and Connection Through Embodied Living.
Perhaps you grew up with a form of religious indoctrination and you still feel as though your sexual impulses are impure or untrustworthy. Or — like me — you live with chronic illness or disability and have internalized notions that your body is somehow less than. If you’ve experienced discrimination or aggression based on your skin color, sexual orientation, or gender expression, you might feel unsafe in your body.
Another reason we might habitually check out is because we once experienced something that was so frightening or painful that we left our bodies. Even if the event occurred long ago, such experiences leave an impression, explains trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk, MD.
“Trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past,” he writes in his book The Body Keeps the Score. “It is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body.”
Whether you experience chronic stress and overwhelm (“small-t” trauma) or catastrophic and life-threatening events (“big-T” trauma), the body reacts the same way: with heightened blood pressure; faster pulse; shallow, fast breathing; and narrowed focus. This is the body in survival mode, ready for fight, flight, or freeze.
“If we’re not able to go back into the thriving aspect of our nervous system, very often the information is stored not only in the fascia but in particular movement or tension patterns — and from there, then, of course, into the emotions and into the mind,” says Boehm. “In embodiment practices and somatic therapies, we’re essentially supporting the body in doing what the body does best, which is de-escalate and regulate.”
This allows us to spend more time thriving, rather than just surviving — even as the world around us continues to present its challenges.
Somatics and Embodiment
Rather than suggesting they rely solely on talk therapy, McCampbell helps her clients use their bodily sensations “to inform them or operate as a shorthand.” This is sometimes called a somatic approach.
The word “somatic” comes from the Greek soma, which means “the body.” Somatic practices employ the body’s internal sensations to facilitate self-awareness and healing. A somatic framework can be applied to a broad range of practices — from talk therapy to physical exercises (learn how to shift your focus to your body’s internal sensations with these somatic movements).
Philosopher Thomas Hanna, PhD, coined the term in the 1970s, writing that “everything we experience in our lives is a bodily experience.” Drawn from the works of Moshé Feldenkrais and Hans Selye, Hanna’s somatic exercises aim to release contractions stored in the body from “daily stresses and traumas.”
Mind–body integration has long been central to traditional Indigenous and Asian cultural teachings, such as yoga, Tibetan Buddhism, tai chi, and qigong, says Tara Teng, author of Your Body Is a Revolution: Healing Our Relationships With Our Bodies, Each Other, and the Earth.
“All across the world, every culture has had an understanding of somatics,” says Teng, who is Asian American/Canadian and uses her bicultural identity to inform her practice. “We are just now collectively using this word — somatics — to describe it.”
How to Come Home to Yourself
The following activities can help you become more grounded in your physical self. Most somatic practices help your nervous system unwind and release stress, which typically feels calming and relaxing. Yet for some, getting in touch with their bodies can bring up mixed or uncomfortable emotions. If you’re dealing with complex trauma, be sure to take your time with any embodiment practices and seek professional support if you need it.
1) Check in with your body.
Many of us have no idea when we’re checked out of our bodies, so making it a habit to check in throughout the day is a great first step, says McCampbell.
Some questions you might ask yourself: How do I feel right now? Where do I feel tension? Where do I feel easeful and relaxed? Am I hungry or thirsty? Do I need to use the bathroom? Would my body like to shift position, stretch, or maybe go outside for a little fresh air?
“That piece of recognizing — I have needs and that’s OK — is so powerful,” McCampbell says. She notes that women, especially, are often conditioned to put their own physical needs and preferences last.
2) Turn down the volume.
Periodically silence your phone, email alerts, and social media, Teng suggests. Notice how it feels when you don’t feel obliged to respond instantly to each and every message.
Turning off notifications allows us to decide when and what we will choose to respond to, rather than being in a state of constant reaction. This small act can be a way to reclaim our agency — and our nervous systems.
“When we do this, we move ourselves out of the rat race and into a more embodied natural rhythm,” Teng writes.
3) Connect with your breath.
Awareness of the breath is at the heart of nearly every embodiment practice — as well as many spiritual practices, from Tibetan Buddhism to mindfulness meditation. “It’s one of the only ways that we can control the engagement of our autonomic nervous system,” says yoga therapist and Ayurvedic practitioner Chara Caruthers, MSc, C-IAYT, ERYT-500, CAP.
When we’re anxious or stressed, the sympathetic nervous system switches into fight-or-flight mode, and breath gets shallower. Mindfully lengthening and slowing the breath helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system. This signals safety to the body, which allows our rest-and-digest mode to kick in.
Box breathing (a.k.a. square breathing) is a calming yogic breathing practice used by U.S. Navy SEALs to curb stress. Here’s how to do it:
- Slowly inhale for a count of four. Gently hold the breath for a count of four.
- Slowly exhale for a count of four. Gently hold that for a count of four.
- If comfortable, continue for a while, until you feel more grounded.
McCampbell recommends this practice for moments of overwhelm. “The breath is the quickest way to get you into your body, but also to calm you down if you are in a heightened state.”
(The way we breathe affects overall well-being. Learn how to breathe better at, “How to Breathe.”)
4) Get moving — or even dancing.
Sedentary jobs have skyrocketed by 83 percent since 1950, according to the American Heart Association. Most of us now spend about 10 hours a day sitting.
Spending all this time seated denies us the full experience of our bodies. “Movement is our birthright,” says Boehm, who recommends periodically getting off that swivel chair, putting on some music, and dancing vigorously around your home.
Boehm believes moving the hips, specifically, is important. “We want to bring the energy from the head back down into the body. And for that we need to engage with the lower body.”
If you’re not big on dancing, try some hip circles while standing at your desk or brushing your teeth. Or pull out that Hula-Hoop. For those not comfortable engaging their hips, Boehm suggests jumping a few times a day on a rebounder — a somatic technique found to reduce trauma-related symptoms.
5) Explore yoga.
Yoga is more than just twisty poses that build strength and flexibility, says Caruthers. “It’s a physical practice, but it’s also a contemplative practice. It gives us this space to explore ourselves and our bodies. I often say the breath is like a flashlight that can illuminate the physical experience.”
The word “yoga” comes from the Sanskrit word yuj, which means “to yoke” or “to unite.” Ancient scriptures say the practice, which includes meditation and breathwork as well as physical postures, promotes a union between mind and body.
Yoga poses are powerful tools for developing interoception, or the ability to sense your body’s sensations and signals, says Caruthers. “As you continue to practice, you can begin to associate certain sensations in your body with emotions like anger, sadness, joy — or even more complex things like embarrassment and confusion.”
6) Go out in nature.
Time outdoors can be an excellent way to return to the senses. Ideally, you can take a hike in a deep forest or walk on an ocean beach, but even the sidewalk outside your office building works. Being somewhere that’s not climate controlled means you’re likely to feel whatever is happening in your environment — whether that’s a warm breeze or icy rain on your skin.
Shepherd says spending time in nature helps us unite with “the mindfulness of the present.”
“With every inbreath, you are taking into your body the exhalations of forests.”
“There is companionship in everything. Everything around us in this moment was birthed in the same star matter that we are made of,” he says. “With every inbreath, you are taking into your body the exhalations of forests. They are there to nourish you. And you offer in exchange a gift of carbon dioxide that may someday find itself part of a forest.”
When we live in our heads, we may treat the world around us as inanimate, adds Shepherd. But when we are fully in our bodies and out in nature, we can “come home to what the body recognizes, which is that it belongs.”
7) Speak kindly to your body.
So much of the marketplace is filled with products that encourage us to “correct” our bodies: antiaging serum, cellulite cream, teeth-whitening treatments, and more. Yet when we are critical of our bodies, says McCampbell, we’re not really seeing ourselves.
“We’re actually seeing the trauma and shame that has been projected upon our body by society, or even by loved ones,” she explains.
Developing a clearer view of our bodies can be a slow, but liberating, process. Start with becoming aware of how you talk to yourself. When you look in the mirror, do you hear critical voices in your head? Do you compare your body with the bodies of others, or with your own body at a different age or level of fitness? How would it feel if you spoke about your own body the way you would speak about the body of someone you loved dearly?
In her book The Body Is Not an Apology, author and activist Sonya Renee Taylor suggests noticing the words you use to complain about your body, then making a list of shame-free, neutral alternatives to use instead. (Learn more about how to practice body neutrality at “What Is Body Neutrality and How Can I Embrace It?“)
8) Explore self-massage.
Touch is a direct reminder of our physical existence, but not everyone feels comfortable being touched by others. If that’s true for you, massaging your own hands or feet can be a safe, easy way to feel more embodied.
“We don’t often get touched a lot in an attentive and therapeutic way,” Boehm says. “Self-massage fills that for ourselves so we are not dependent on other people’s attention.”
Our feet contain many reflexology points that help our bodies de-escalate, she notes. Foot massage is also a great way to diffuse the energy in our brains, where it tends to collect when we do a lot of mental work.
“When we bring the energy to the feet, we’re pulling the excess energy from our neck, shoulders, jaw, and head,” she says.
(Try these acupressure points yourself to access your body’s subtle energy layers.)
9. Try strength training.
Strength training fosters interoception as well as proprioception, the body’s sense of itself in space, says Mark Schneider, CSCS, a trauma-informed strength coach in Minneapolis. It can also help us overcome limiting or negative beliefs about our bodies.
As founder of the Retreat Strength Gym, Schneider uses strength training to help people recover from physical or mental setbacks. He defines strength training as any training with resistance that is outside your current physical, mental, or emotional capacity.
In other words, it’s not just about lifting heavy — it’s about being willing to surpass any limiting beliefs about what your body can do. “Regardless of the injuries and traumas of the past, we are able to train with, and around, those narratives and create a different future,” he says. “It’s never too late to start again, and again.”
The benefits of strength training can include improved physical strength, bone density, joint health, and metabolism. While those health benefits are great, strength training can also support embodiment with increased confidence, curiosity, trust, and a stronger belief in your ability to manage stress and the unknown, says Schneider. (For more on trauma-informed training, check out “How Movement Therapy Can Heal Traumatic Stress.”)
10) Hit the health club.
Try a new class, like Zumba, barre, or HIIT. Given that all forms of exercise have myriad benefits for the mind and body, Schneider believes the “best” form of exercise is one that keeps you engaged and present while moving you toward your goals. Becoming more embodied can help you know exactly what that movement is.
The post 10 Practices to Get Out Of Your Head and Into the Present appeared first on Experience Life.
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